its been a long while

.....am speechless....cos i do not know where to start.
nt cos i was MIA but more like the user name & password went MIA for this account.

So being too lazy to start digging, i just let it rot away.

But i dun noe why, got the sudden urge to blog...to release ... to vent..
so the morning spent on hacking my OWN account and finally figuring out the CORRECT user name & password. So easy...jus too lazy to think...hmmm...

i am a MUMMY now, yes i make it...after 9 mth of prenancy, 9 mth of joy...now the very proud mother of a 9 mth old active little boy...

Donovan Lee @ 9 mths...

being a mummy is cool~ i love the look on my son's face when he want me to carry or hug him.

i love the warmth of his love and the sweet way how he "sayang" people...everything in my life now revolves around this little prince.

Don't be mistaken, i do not have the luxury of staying at home and watching him grow..am still in the very crazy, very tired corporate world. People are very amazed how i am able to cope with such a high-pace, hectic and demanding job and at the same time able to take of my son at night. Am amazed at myself too...i am not a super mummy and dun intend to be. Its getting so tiring that i really feel like giving it all up (the job i mean) but den again hw am i supposed to do that when i hv so many other factors to consider. My house, the car, the parents, my son...and it doesnt help that my hubby's job is also a "?" now. Much as i dread work, the projects, the people, the environment, the things i hear, the situations when i need to make a judgement...i do not have a choice...do i?

I dislike emails, dislike the phone...hate hearing words like timeline, deadline, rsvp, eDM, broadcast...all those shitty jargons. They all sound so BAD to me. I hate the fact that i hv such a negative outlook on my job, in fact, i wish that the upcoming events should just be cancelled. I dun even mind if i have put in a lot of effort into the proposal. I am just so sick and tired that i do not wish for ANYTHING to happen at all.

i know i sound burnt out...i need a good break, thats what people hv been telling me. But can i be sure that after watever break that i took, i will still be able to continue with wat i do? Justifiable? And what's the outcome...will i be able to achieve wat i intend to get? And if i really got it, can i continue?

life's full of shit...am facing one really huge lump now...